I have to say my perspective on life has completely changed since my last post. As I posted a little while back, I went on a humanitarian trip to Port Au Prince, Haiti. I was really really nervous because one of my good friends was suppose to go down there with me and he had to cancel last minute on me. I felt like everything was not turning out the way I wanted. I was scared, nervous and very stressed. I did even question not going. But then deep down inside I knew I had to go. I'm so glad I listened to that feeling. I think Satan was really trying to freak me out because he was worried that if I did go to Haiti, my heart would be opened to loving God's children even more and he knew that I would be working through and for our Savior. He did have a reason to worry. I felt closer to God when I was in Haiti than almost any other time in my life.
When I got down there I was overwelmed by what I saw. I didn't just fall in love with the Haitian people, but I fell in love with all of the volunteers that also went down there to serve. We all came from different backgrounds and religions, but we all were one in the Lord and all had the same purpose, to be the hands of the Lord and to love his people. Christ took time to hold and love each child and individual when he was on this earth, and he still does today (spiritually). I had the opportunity to do that, be Christ-like, love and hold the children of God.
When I went down there I expected to love, hold and care for these children and people. But I was very surprised at how much I needed the love and needed to be held by these children. I feel as though I need their love more than they needed mine. I think we forget sometimes how precious a tender touch or a loving hug is to an individual.
I thought I'd share some things from my journal while I was in Haiti. . It was really hard to express the feelings I had but I tried to explain the best I could.
July 30, 2010
"I am sitting in my room with four other girls in the humid heat of Haiti with a fan blowing on my face. It's so crazy to think that I'm in Haiti, one of the poorest countries in the world."
"Walking out of the gates of the airport was like walking into a whole new world. My eyes were opened to the incredible blessings the Lord has bestowed on me and my country (USA). Grown men were fighting to help us with our luggage just to earn a few dollars. Children were on the other side of a chain-link fence begging for money. The dust surrounded me as old trucks painted in bright colors drove by. These old trucks are called 'Tap Tap's'- the local taxi/bus system. People literally pile into the back of them."
"On our way to the guest house we had little boys coming up to our truck saying "sista, sista, can I please have one dollar?" They also spoke in Haitian Creole, so I couldn't understand most of what they were saying. One of the volunteers gave a boy a snack and some money and because of that other street kids started overtaking the truck asking for money and food. I wanted to cry. To see these children risking their lives by running in the streets sand hanging on the back of the truck for some money so that they could eat, it broke my heart."
"The whole city is in pieces. Condemned buildings, families living in huts, tents, under tarps.. the city was filled with tents EVERYWHERE. Families, children, pregnant women wandering the streets, sorting through garbage. . it was an unbelievable sight."
"I was told today that if you meet a Haitian and exchange names, your automatically friends. They treat you like a best friend. I can't tell you how quickly these guys have opened up to us and have mad us feel welcome."
"Our First Service Trip (The day we arrived)-Rebecca (Foundation Founder) had no time to lose. we had our first service trip today to the "Mother Theresa Nutrition Center". Center is an over statement for what this place was. It was a compound with tents that were filled with cribs. Probably 4 tents with 20+ cribs in each. Not all cribs were full but there were probably at least 40 kids there. So Rebecca told us to go in and pick up any child and just hold them and love them (basically show love to them as Jesus would_. These children aren't orphans. There families just couldn't feed them enough so they're there to get nutrition & grown strong. Most if not all were malnourished with bulging bellies and skinny frail limbs-literally skin a bones.
Una, a volunteer was holding a little girl named Jauline who saw me and put out her frail hand towards me. I ended up switching children with Una. Jauline and I bonded. She's 21 months old but she looks 4-6 months old due to malnourishment. I got her laughing which can be pretty difficult with these kids. I danced around in between tents with her, humming "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream". . she loved that. She kept putting her hand in mine and wanting me to kiss it. Interaction like that is big. Most of the children would just cling to you and just let you hold them."
August 1, 2010
I'm still in awe at the feelings I have for the Haitians. Each day my eyes are opened to their humble joyous hearts. I can't express my joy. . I wish everyone that reads this could feel the feelings I have.
We went to a handicap orphanage today. The kids were hanging out on blankets in the back of the house under a canopy. What I love about all these orphanages is that everyone is so trusting. Rebecca told us that as soon as we got there to just grab a child and hold them and play with them. So I did! These children were so happy! We would tickle them and hld them and they would just laugh and laugh! One boy would just blow kisses at you and when you would turn your back he would hit you to get your attention again and then he would laugh and laugh!
The first day at Mother Theresa's Nutrition Center I was scared of kissing the children because I was scared of getting sick. but now, I will hold and love a child as long as I can. Through all these physical problems and living situations, these people seem to still LOVE God and love you. It's sad to see how much the USA has strayed from God and how prideful and selfish we are.
Today we went to Lesly's orphanage. This is the orphanage that we go to the most. They had a huge graduation ceremony for 4 kids that were graduating Kindergarden and 2 that were going to high school. Justin (this little boy I have fallen in love with and would adopt if I was married and had the money), sat on my lap through the graduation. He was on my lap holding my hands and was very calm. He then looked at the palms of my hands and with one finger he pushed down on my palm and watched the redness of the blood in my white hand disappear. He then curiously ran his finger up my arm, pointing out the freckles and moles. This made me a bit emotional and made me really think that I'm different to him, my skin color was odd to him and intriguing. After this, I grabbed him and held him tightly and gave him a big kiss and a big smile streamed across his face. Justin is my favorite boy at Lesly's. I will never forget his quiet demeanor, smily eyes and beautiful smile.
(Justin and me during the graduation)
Rebecca and some of the kids from Lesly's Orphanage
August 4, 2010
Last night our devotional was amazing. We were taught by Colleen about Christ and how he left the 99 for the 1 stray sheep. This made me think of leaving worldly things and thoughts behind and serve those in need. Ann had us share moments that were special to us from the week. I was overwhelmed with the spirit & memoried. . I cried. . the Lord has been/was truly with us. I will never forget going to Mother Theresa's Home for the Sick & Dying where we massaged & lotioned adults who were very sick and literally dying. Rebecca told us before we got there that it was going to be awkward. We were so use to helping children, so it was weird to help adults, but she reminded us that Christ washed the feet of his apostles. . the streets of jerusalem were a lot like the streets in Haiti. Dusty, dirty streets full of garbage and sandals were worn. So when we got there Rebecca asked me to help the men. . eve more awkward! I started rubbing arms and backs but then they wanted their chest massaged and then their legs. . but then it really got hard for me when they wanted their feet rubbed. I was really hesitant. . but then I started thinking of Christ. Although these feet had sores, were callused and dry, these feet were feet of children of God. "What would Jesus Do?" I thought and I also thought, "Would Jesus be proud of me and what I'm doing?" So I started massaging this man's feet. I almost started crying because I felt as though Christ was working through me, that my hands were his hands. I truly felt like I was doing something that would please my Savior, especially since I was sacrificing my will for His will. No matter your age, all of us need love & need physical touch."
"I am only one, but I am still one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." -Edward Everett Hale
These are only a few things that I experienced. I feel like I have left my family in Haiti. I plan to return again, hopefully around Christmas time. If any of you would be interesting in coming down with me or donating money or supplies please let me know.
